Letter 8: Perception

“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
— Anaïs Nin

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Dear Future Human,

How clearly do you perceive reality?

This isn’t a trick question. But it does have profound implications for your personal lives, your society, and your future.

So go ahead and think about it. How clearly do you perceive reality?

It rarely occurs to us to question our perceptions. We assume that what we see, hear, and experience is an accurate reflection of the world.

“We naïvely believe that the way we perceive things is identical with the way things are... Only through the process of careful analysis can we see that this is not so.” — Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

To revisit just one example from my letter, “We Are Nature,” our exploitation of the natural world in the service of our comfort and ease is now bringing us to a perilous predicament—one that threatens our very survival. Yet we seem unmoved by this reality.

Why is that? Surely, if humanity truly comprehended that we are putting ourselves in harm’s way, our survival instincts would drive us to action—mobilizing all of our physical, intellectual, and creative resources to collectively find ways to prevent our own self-destruction. If we are not mobilizing ourselves and our resources accordingly, then we’re clearly not registering reality with the urgency it demands.

The question then is: what’s preventing us from accurately and truly perceiving the current environmental, political, economic and technological threats we are facing? We often talk about these threats as we experience climate change, displaced refugees, political, cultural and economic upheavals, new viruses, and unregulated technology. But talk is where it seems to end.

The answer may lie in this famous quote by one of our greatest evolutionary biologists, E.O. Wilson: “The real problem of humanity is the following: We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions and godlike technology.”

What does this really mean?

It means we are still driven by the same emotional wiring that helped our ancestors survive tens of thousands of years ago. Medieval institutions refer to our political, religious, legal, and educational systems that were designed for societies that existed hundreds of years ago. They were built around much simpler realities—small and more isolated communities—not the globalized, interconnected, diverse, and technologically advanced society we have today. And Godlike technology refers to our incredible technological power. We can communicate across the globe in the blink of an eye, edit genes, create artificial intelligence, and destroy entire cities in seconds. Our tools have far outpaced both our emotional maturity and the adaptability of our institutions.¹

While the Internet has brought many gifts into our lives, we are only beginning to truly recognize its darker side. Slowly but surely, we are waking up to the harm it—along with smartphones—has caused to our families, our children, and our mental health.² We are flooded with nonstop information, our values are being distorted, and divisions between us continue to deepen.

And now, with AI advancing at such a rapid pace, even greater challenges are emerging—threats not only to jobs and media, but to something more profound: our ability to discern what is real from what is false. The lines between truth and manipulation are blurring before our eyes, presenting us with entirely new and unprecedented obstacles in navigating this modern world. And if we can’t clearly tell what is true from what is false, how can we find our way forward—or make choices that truly serve us, individually and collectively?³

That is why, now more than ever, you need to understand the challenges we faced—our inability to perceive and adapt to these changes with agility.

If we had appreciated the predicament we were facing, we would have investigated the root of our behaviors, our filters and distortions just as rigorously as we studied the natural world. As we stand right now, we do not appreciate or grasp the complexity of forces that shape our perceptions, feelings, beliefs, abilities and behaviors. We reach conclusions or opinions about everyday life experiences with extraordinary simplicity. The reality is our perceptions and behaviors are all intertwined with our emotions, memories, cultural/societal norms and neural wiring. They become embedded within our neural circuitry, influencing how we see ourselves, each other, and the world. See my previous letter, “The Neurons That Fire Together Wire Together" for more on this subject.

If we were able to apply the same level of scientific rigor to the study of human perception and behavior that we apply to the study of nature, we could discover that most of our beliefs and behaviors are shaped by our biology and the environment into which we were born, not personal failings. This awareness could foster more compassion, trust and understanding of ourselves and each other. We would unlock new levels of creativity and intelligence to solve global challenges with the same resourcefulness we use to protect endangered species or revitalize the reefs in the oceans. As we clear many of our limiting misconceptions and judgments, we will come to truly appreciate the nature of our mind and its lawful evolution—guided by inherent principles—within the larger web of biological and cosmic eco-systems. This deeper understanding will not only enhance our individual self-awareness but also elevate our collective consciousness. With this heightened awareness, we will be better equipped to perceive the world as it truly is—freer from many of our distorted interpretations and conditioned biases. As a result, we will be able to respond to life with the full depth of our emotional, intellectual, and as-yet untapped creative potential—engaging with reality from a place of clarity, wisdom, and purposeful action.

Fortunately, the latest advances in science and technology are giving us small windows into the invisible eco-systems within us. Recent breakthroughs in evolutionary biology, neuroscience, and technology have revealed remarkable insights into how the brain automatically processes information, shaping the way we perceive, decide, and act.

Recent research confirms that with awareness, sustained practice, and focused intention, we can rewire our brains—freeing ourselves from outdated patterns and biases.⁴ This allows us to respond to life not from old wounds, but from the clarity, presence, and power of our fully developed adult selves.

The findings I have compiled can begin to help you understand the evolutionary nature of perception—how our minds adapt to survive within the specific environments we were born into. However, this same adaptability is also responsible for distorting our perception of reality in adulthood.

These findings reveal the extent to which our perception is both highly individualized and deeply biased—a confounding and intricate mosaic that continuously filters what we perceive as real through the projective lens of our past experiences, pain points, and memories.

1. Each of us carries around an invisible frame of reference—a filter through which we perceive reality.

Each of us sees the world through a unique perceptual filter—shaped by our experiences, emotions and cultural backgrounds. Many of us are unaware that our invisible frame of reference constructs how we perceive and experience our individual reality—how we feel and what we think about ourselves, each other, and the world around us.⁵ We don’t see that it underpins everything we know, what we believe, the actions we take and how we relate to each other. We operate with a fundamental assumption that we experience direct reality. Yet, we remain unaware of this filter. Most of us believe we experience reality as it truly is, when in fact, our perceptions are shaped by internal biases rooted in our early childhood. We believe we see things accurately because we trust our senses. But sensory information, in itself, is meaningless—it is our brain that organizes and assigns meaning to it.⁶

For example, imagine you're walking down the street and you see a dog. First, you’ll pick up information through your senses—your eyes detect the shape, color, size and movement while your ears may hear the barking sounds. Your brain then compares these sensory inputs with stored memories of similar animals (like other dogs you’ve seen before) and categorizes the animal as a “dog.” Your brain then quickly assesses the level of danger by noting if the dog is wagging its tail or appearing threatening. Finally, depending on your past experiences with and current feelings toward dogs—whether you’ve been bitten in the past, or have a dog at home—will determine how you react, greet the dog warmly or cross the street.

Our brain takes raw sensory data, organizes it by matching it to previous experiences, and then categorizes it to make split second decisions, often without our conscious awareness. Depending on their prior experiences with dogs, different people may have completely different reactions.

Additionally, we often fail to realize how our use of language is uniquely shaped by the specific conditions of our childhood environments. For instance, how your mind constructs meaning for each word or concept has evolved through your own familial, cultural, religious, economic, and educational experiences; what you mean by love, responsibility or trust is not the same as what those words mean to another person. We assume that others interpret reality the way we do, ascribing the same meanings to words, events, and experiences. We operate from our own assumptions, until we suddenly find ourselves in conflict or confusion with another person.⁷ At that point, rather than questioning our own perspective, or being curious about theirs, we often jump to the conclusion that they must be wrong. We become convinced that our beliefs, opinions and feelings are “right” and “rational.” In reality, we perceive the world around us through a narrow lens shaped by our past conditioning and experiences, which filters and limits how we interpret the world around us.

2. Memory shapes perception

Our brains evolved to conserve energy by quickly detecting patterns and making predictions.⁸ While this helps us navigate the world efficiently, it can also keep us from experiencing the present moment as it truly is. As mentioned above, our brains prioritize information based on what we learned in childhood is safe and predictable. Children are born fully equipped to quickly pick up social and environmental patterns that will help them feel physically safe while seeking acceptance, belonging and emotional connection.⁹

Because they are born with over a hundred billion neurons (many of which will be pruned by the time they reach 25)¹⁰, children are hyper-sensitive, capable of detecting even the subtlest facial expression and energy shifts in their environment. Born predisposed to adapt to their physical environment, and with their cultural and social belief systems forming, they quickly learn what’s right and wrong, good and bad, safe and unsafe. Repeated experiences shape their brains and contribute to the construction of their frames of reference. These frames of reference become encoded into their memory systems and continue to organize and solidify the schema of their physical and psychological environments into adulthood. Since much of this process begins in early childhood, our deeply held beliefs, opinions, emotions, and reactions are predominantly shaped by unconscious influences and form lasting frames of reference that continue to influence us into adulthood.¹¹ This is something we will explore in greater depth in future letters.

3. We are evolutionarily wired to avoid and deny uncertainty

Even the suggestion that we might not be responding to the full scope of reality can feel threatening—it challenges our sense of safety, predictability, and control. We need to “be in the know.” If we perceive that we don’t have a direct experience of reality, we may become overwhelmed with anxiety. From an evolutionary perspective, uncertainty was dangerous—it left us vulnerable to predators and the other threats of the natural world. That instinct still lingers today, though the dangers have changed.¹² From a psychological perspective, being “in the know” now offers a different kind of protection. It gives us credibility, shields us from judgment, and helps guard against the risk of social rejection or attack. To be seen as informed is, in many ways, to feel safe. To avoid feeling the psychic fear or social vulnerability of “not knowing,” we have evolved ingenious psychological defense mechanisms and adaptive tools.¹³ (I’ll explore this more deeply through case studies in upcoming letters.)

4. Confirmation bias leads us to select information from our environment based on what we already believe

One of the most common defenses we implement is “confirmation bias,” where we seek, interpret and remember information that is consistent with our existing beliefs, while ignoring or dismissing anything that challenges those beliefs.¹⁴

Like the above, this process is largely unconscious. Hence, human decision-making and information processing are often biased and faulty because we are limited to interpreting information from our limited viewpoint and unique early childhood experiences. If we believe the world is dangerous, we will more likely notice threats and overlook signs of safety. If we believe we are unlovable, we will unconsciously pick up critical and negative statements while minimizing acts of kindness.

Like many of our early adaptive behaviors, confirmation bias allowed early humans to make quick decisions without having to re-evaluate every situation from scratch. But in our modern, complex world, this once-useful shortcut often blinds us. It reinforces old emotional wounds, perpetuates divisive thinking, and can keep us locked inside outdated perceptions that no longer serve us or fit our present reality. We see this clearly today in both conventional and social media, where many easily accept information from sources that align with their views, while fiercely rejecting anything that comes from opposing channels. This tendency is not limited to the collective but also manifests in our personal lives. In my time, things have gotten so extreme that people and institutions can’t even listen to different views without feeling threatened, 'canceling' anyone who disagrees with them.¹⁵

Finally, to be able to survive and adapt to our environments and not get overwhelmed by all the sensory information within us and around us, our brain has evolved a survival-based selective perception; we focus on the most critical information that helps us regulate our bodies and quickly adjust our behavior to ensure our physical safety.¹⁶ Our past experiences determine what feels safe or dangerous. This is how we come to understand the world around us. However, as I discussed in my "Longing to Belong" letter, our well-being is also deeply connected to social acceptance and belonging. Therefore, we pay just as much attention to critical information from our social interactions and surroundings.

As you may begin to see, my calling for a massive, urgent effort—like a new Manhattan Project—focused on intentionally evolving how we perceive and make sense of the world, is critically needed. The very evolutionary adaptations which once ensured our survival, now, paradoxically endanger us. Our ways of perceiving, shaped by evolution, no longer fit the world we are in. They narrow and distort our vision. What once helped us thrive now keeps us trapped in patterns that endanger us.

I began this letter with a question: How clearly do you perceive reality?
If you are anything like the people of my time, the honest answer is—not very clearly.

Now, I invite you to hold a more vital question in your mind: What can you do about it?

The answer won’t come quickly or easily. To find it, all of these letters must be read as threads of a larger tapestry. Taken in isolation, each offers only fragments. At best, they reveal partial truths; at worst, they risk reinforcing old stories and assumptions shaped by our past.

That is why I ask you to slow down—to take your time with these words. Read with care and attentiveness. There is much here to absorb and connect, and its deepest meaning will only emerge through reflection, through experience, and through life itself.

In the end, real understanding won’t arrive just by reading. It will have to be grokked—lived, felt, and integrated over time.

Love,

Ronit

1. Tristan Harris and Daniel Schmachtenberger, The Social Dilemma's Tristan Harris on Technology Moving Faster Than Regulation, PowerfulJRE, December 2021.

2. Emily Sehmer, As a Child Psychiatrist, I See What Smartphones are Doing to Kids’ Mental Health–and it’s Terrifying, The Guardian, January 2025.

3. Andrew R. Chow and Billy Perrigo, Google’s New AI Tool Generates Convincing Deepfakes of Riots, Conflict, and Election Fraud, Time, June 2025.

4. Andrew Huberman, What is Neuroplasticity?, The Science and Cocktails Foundation, April 2023.

5. David Eagleman, Your Brain is Biased by Default: Here is How to Reset It, Big Think, September 2024.

6. Anil Seth, Why We All Experience the World Differently, BBC Ideas, July 2022.

7. Jason Pohl, I Say Dog, You Say Chicken? New Study Explores Why We Disagree So Often, UC Berkeley News, March 2023.

8. Anil Ananthaswamy, Your Brain is an Energy Efficient ‘Prediction Machine’, WIRED, November 2021.

9. Patricia Soto-Icaza, Francisco Aboitiz, and Pablo Billeke, Development of Social Skills in Children: Neural and Behavioral Evidence for the Elaboration of Cognitive Models, Frontiers in Neuroscience, September 2015.

10. Jill Sakai, Core Concept: How Synaptic Pruning Shapes Neural Wiring During Development and, Possibly, in Disease, PNAS, June 2020.

11. Beau Lotto, Why Past Experience is Dangerous, Beau Lotto – D’Amelio Network, December 2020.

12. Kimberly Holland, Amygdala Hijack: When Emotion Takes Over, Healthline, April 2025.

13. EBSCO Research Starters, Self-affirmation Theory, EBSCO, 2021.

14. JC Pass, Defining Confirmation Bias: Understanding Its Roots and Impact, Simply Put Psych, December 2024.

15. Emily Ekins, Poll: 62% of Americans Say They Have Political Views They’re Afraid to Share, CATO Institute, July 2020.

16. Jayne Morriss, Anastasia Christakou, and Carien M van Reekum, Nothing is Safe: Intolerance of Uncertainty is Associated with Compromised Fear Extinction Learning, Biological Psychology, December 2016.

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